Tifguphen is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, selfish crow.

Tifguphen created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifguphen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tifguphen, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tifguphen's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tifguphen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help sick pigs.