Tampomfig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, almighty turtle.

Tampomfig created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tampomfig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tampomfig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tampomfig's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tampomfig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Never eat green fruit.