Wegnurlmis is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent jaguar.

Wegnurlmis created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wegnurlmis, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wegnurlmis, she will turn you into a goat.

Wegnurlmis' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Wegnurlmis' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.