Jonyimlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring dragonfly.

Jonyimlarg created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonyimlarg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonyimlarg, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jonyimlarg's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jonyimlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown stockings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

5. Do not listen to music.