Bifnullsigbutstighak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, loving bat.

Bifnullsigbutstighak created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifnullsigbutstighak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifnullsigbutstighak, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bifnullsigbutstighak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bifnullsigbutstighak's Holy Commandments

1. Bifnullsigbutstighak loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

2. Turtles are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed parsnips to monkeys while wearing tights.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never look at planets.