Motquagabfod is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, intelligent octopus.

Motquagabfod created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motquagabfod, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Motquagabfod, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Motquagabfod's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Motquagabfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed nuts to shrews while wearing rings.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.