Zimyarpten is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, staggering centipede.

Zimyarpten created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimyarpten, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zimyarpten, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Zimyarpten's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Zimyarpten's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Zimyarpten in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Pray towards the north.