Gepcatkom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless owl.

Gepcatkom created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepcatkom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gepcatkom, he will be very unhappy.

Gepcatkom's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gepcatkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed rice to eagles while wearing dresses.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Gepcatkom loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Never sprint in the presence of gulls.