Gupteendib is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, all-powerful hamster.

Gupteendib created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupteendib, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gupteendib, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gupteendib's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gupteendib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. You must pray to Gupteendib nine times a day.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Gupteendib on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near cats while wearing fawn rings and balancing eight iron spheres on your chest.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.