Jopyikren is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, prudent tapir.

Jopyikren created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopyikren, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jopyikren, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jopyikren's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Jopyikren's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near manatees.

2. Jopyikren loves eagles, so they must be respected.

3. Run away from mauve gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Jopyikren in the centre of the settlement.