Targjarnwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonourable camel.

Targjarnwik created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targjarnwik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Targjarnwik, he will turn you into a puffin.

Targjarnwik's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Targjarnwik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not take Targjarnwik's name in vain.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.