Ladcabhen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, able cat.

Ladcabhen created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Ladcabhen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ladcabhen, she will be very sad.

Ladcabhen's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ladcabhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Ladcabhen loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never wear brown shirts.