Gatfarnyam Zimhud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, calm unicorn.

Gatfarnyam Zimhud created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gatfarnyam Zimhud, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gatfarnyam Zimhud, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gatfarnyam Zimhud's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gatfarnyam Zimhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.