Barnkanjam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthoughtful hippopotamus.

Barnkanjam created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnkanjam, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Barnkanjam, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Barnkanjam's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Barnkanjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always obey Barnkanjam's priests.

4. Retreat if four goats approach from the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.