Bontiftit Tigmiltik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain bear.

Bontiftit Tigmiltik created the Tadpole Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bontiftit Tigmiltik, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bontiftit Tigmiltik, she will laugh at you.

Bontiftit Tigmiltik's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bontiftit Tigmiltik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.