Zencapcub is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, kind donkey.

Zencapcub created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zencapcub, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zencapcub, she will not care.

Zencapcub's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zencapcub's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Zencapcub on top of all buildings.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

5. Never talk about optics near frogs while wearing violet corsets and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.