Vabsagvan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving meerkat.

Vabsagvan created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Vabsagvan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vabsagvan, she will curse you with boils.

Vabsagvan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vabsagvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vabsagvan.