Ditappaf Getwigdot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy cow.

Ditappaf Getwigdot created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditappaf Getwigdot, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditappaf Getwigdot, she will turn you into a slug.

Ditappaf Getwigdot's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Ditappaf Getwigdot's Holy Commandments

1. Ditappaf Getwigdot loves otters, so they must be respected.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Never hurt snails.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.