Larndab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving crab.

Larndab created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larndab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larndab, she will laugh at you.

Larndab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Larndab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Worship no other gods but Larndab.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect four tin sculptures of Larndab on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tortoises while wearing purple jumpers and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.