Bogquimcumsabort is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful bird.

Bogquimcumsabort created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogquimcumsabort, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bogquimcumsabort, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bogquimcumsabort's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bogquimcumsabort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bogquimcumsabort.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Learn five new languages a year.