Dimpidcep is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, grumpy lizard.

Dimpidcep created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimpidcep, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dimpidcep, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dimpidcep's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Dimpidcep's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dimpidcep.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. You must pray to Dimpidcep three times a day.