Gumrigaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome centipede.

Gumrigaf created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumrigaf, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gumrigaf, he will turn you into a frog.

Gumrigaf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gumrigaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear brown kilts.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing orange shorts and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.