Femwadaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, loving dryad.

Femwadaf created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Femwadaf, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Femwadaf, it will throw large rocks at you.

Femwadaf's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Femwadaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Femwadaf on top of all buildings.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing indigo shirts.

5. Do not listen to music.