Artkadkarbod is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous otter.

Artkadkarbod created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Artkadkarbod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Artkadkarbod, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Artkadkarbod's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Artkadkarbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.