Wotfotgub is a god.

He takes the form of a small, awesome dog.

Wotfotgub created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Wotfotgub, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wotfotgub, he will manifest in front of you.

Wotfotgub's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Wotfotgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention squirrels.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always obey Wotfotgub's priests.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.