Cetcumwee is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable jellyfish.

Cetcumwee created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetcumwee, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetcumwee, she will come to you in dreams.

Cetcumwee's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cetcumwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

4. Worship no other gods but Cetcumwee.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.