Nillgunbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil tapir.

Nillgunbonk created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Nillgunbonk, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nillgunbonk, she will have a low opinion of you.

Nillgunbonk's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nillgunbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near dogs while wearing indigo shorts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your head.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.