Bumjenmid Hanbadcen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, conceited giraffe.

Bumjenmid Hanbadcen created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Bumjenmid Hanbadcen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bumjenmid Hanbadcen, he will turn you into a slug.

Bumjenmid Hanbadcen's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bumjenmid Hanbadcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Do not cook food in pots.