Lanhapgig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, omnipotent salamander.

Lanhapgig created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanhapgig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lanhapgig, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lanhapgig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lanhapgig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Lanhapgig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Hide from green ducks for they are unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never sing near sheep.