Flanvab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional newt.

Flanvab created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flanvab, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flanvab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Flanvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.