Bidjarnbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless warg.

Bidjarnbaf created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidjarnbaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bidjarnbaf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bidjarnbaf's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bidjarnbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.