Funsashognakdonxinhonjad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, intelligent aardvark.

Funsashognakdonxinhonjad created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Funsashognakdonxinhonjad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Funsashognakdonxinhonjad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Funsashognakdonxinhonjad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Funsashognakdonxinhonjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Funsashognakdonxinhonjad's priests.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Do not take Funsashognakdonxinhonjad's name in vain.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.