Zakbad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, boastful hamster.

Zakbad created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakbad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zakbad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Zakbad's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Zakbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never run near rats.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Zakbad on top of all buildings.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.