Hivnarlmot is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, capable jellyfish.

Hivnarlmot created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivnarlmot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hivnarlmot, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hivnarlmot's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hivnarlmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Run away if four frogs approach from the north.