Bepbagpon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic penguin.

Bepbagpon created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbagpon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepbagpon, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bepbagpon's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bepbagpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about special relativity near foxes while wearing indigo ear rings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.