Bonkarfbam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless wyvern.

Bonkarfbam created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkarfbam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkarfbam, she will manifest in front of you.

Bonkarfbam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bonkarfbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Hide from magenta geese for they are unholy.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.