Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish rhinoceros.

Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight copper sculptures of Benlungodomt Wonlakmid Zakyakrig on top of important buildings.

2. Do not kill gulls.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Never sit in the presence of birds.