Zimbopfig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, capable hydra.

Zimbopfig created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimbopfig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zimbopfig, she will come to you in dreams.

Zimbopfig's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Zimbopfig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not take Zimbopfig's name in vain.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zimbopfig.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.