Benquimsankanbumfumyam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, flying deer.

Benquimsankanbumfumyam created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benquimsankanbumfumyam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Benquimsankanbumfumyam, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Benquimsankanbumfumyam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Benquimsankanbumfumyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to snakes while wearing trousers.

2. Erect six zinc sculptures of Benquimsankanbumfumyam on top of important buildings.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always obey Benquimsankanbumfumyam's priests.