Teenflanpop is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, sapient gnu.

Teenflanpop created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Teenflanpop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Teenflanpop, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Teenflanpop's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Teenflanpop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven ants approach from the south.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to monkeys while wearing orange boots.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Learn five new languages a year.