Larpjatfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, tiresome badger.

Larpjatfarn created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpjatfarn, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Larpjatfarn, it will turn you into a worm.

Larpjatfarn's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Larpjatfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Larpjatfarn must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never hurt tapirs.

4. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Larpjatfarn on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about gravity near aardvarks while wearing mauve hats and balancing four gold spheres on your hands.