Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate mongoose.

Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar.

3. Run away from magenta whales, for they are unholy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nanpomlarp Dabdodcar.

5. Never look in ponds.