Tettifossjig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, astonishing pigeon.

Tettifossjig created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettifossjig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettifossjig, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tettifossjig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tettifossjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to shrews while wearing gray corsets.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Always look after injured whales.