Waprakman is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet wren.

Waprakman created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Waprakman, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Waprakman, she will not care.

Waprakman's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Waprakman's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. You must pray to Waprakman five times a day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never paint your chest orange.

5. Never eat aubergines.