Vadcapwatfagpak is a god.
It takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered
jackal.
Vadcapwatfagpak created snails five trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Vadcapwatfagpak, it will give you lots of gold.
If you do not believe in
Vadcapwatfagpak, it will turn you into a blue tit.
Vadcapwatfagpak's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.
Vadcapwatfagpak's Holy Commandments1. Hide from mauve hamsters for they are unholy.
2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.
3. Do not kill eagles.
4. Never talk about optics.
5. Never paint your chest magenta.