Dussomttig is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic fly.

Dussomttig created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussomttig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dussomttig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dussomttig's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dussomttig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange manatees for they are unholy.

2. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the south.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Dussomttig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near snails while wearing blue jumpers and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.