Flapbugtetti is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, weak scorpion.

Flapbugtetti created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbugtetti, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flapbugtetti, she will turn you into a duck.

Flapbugtetti's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Flapbugtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flapbugtetti.

5. Never talk about special relativity near goats while wearing green jumpers and balancing four lead spheres on your back.