Fidlamfot is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, quiet meerkat.

Fidlamfot created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Fidlamfot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fidlamfot, he will have a low opinion of you.

Fidlamfot's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fidlamfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black dresses.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Fidlamfot loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.