Fubhap Sislogbat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, kind lobster.

Fubhap Sislogbat created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubhap Sislogbat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fubhap Sislogbat, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fubhap Sislogbat's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fubhap Sislogbat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Fubhap Sislogbat.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.