Kemyogwan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, egotistical chinchilla.

Kemyogwan created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemyogwan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kemyogwan, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kemyogwan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kemyogwan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never feed pineapples to bats while wearing scarves.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Never talk about dolphins.

5. You must love Kemyogwan.